Josh Hee Final Pilgrimage Project

Josh Hee

Final Pilgrimage Project: Proof that Rejection Helps

My journey at the mall, around the Rosebowl, and everything else:

https://docs.google.com/a/students.polytechnic.org/presentation/d/13awY_44tehyTIGDjptTL8PE4AEZmLBxCfH-2o4b0IJE/edit?usp=sharing

 

Labyrinth Reflection 1

They went on. He kept constant watch behind him in the mirror. The only thing that moved in the streets was the blowing ash. They crossed the high concrete bridge over the river. A dock below. Small pleasure boats half sunken in the gray water. Tall stacks downriver dim in the soot.

The day following some few miles south of the city at a bend in the road and half lost in the dead brambles they came upon an old frame house with chimneys and gables and a stone wall. The man stopped. Then he pushed the cart up the drive.

What is this place, Papa?

It's the house where I grew up.  (The Road, McCarthy 24)

The Labyrinth project has been eye opening in many ways, mostly because of its seemingly simple concept. Although I have not walked it yet, I believe that it works to draw your mind into focus by completely barring out outside distraction and solely dedicating your attention to following the path. The dedication towards the sanctity of loneliness has been highlighted in almost all of the novels. However, it becomes evident that the teamwork it took to build our labyrinth is valued more in the works like with the whole group of people telling stories or Che and Alberto or Siddhartha and Govinda or the man and the boy. It’s interesting that something designed to be walked alone could be so powerful with others. Being with someone else also adds another aspect of enlightenment like the joy and amazement you got when your son was murmuring to himself as he walked through the labyrinth.

The labyrinth project helped shine light on a pivotal moment in The Road when the man and boy return to the man’s childhood home.

The constant watch the man gives to the mirror and all of his surroundings seemed mere paranoia at first. However, after looking at the concentric rings of the circle and the focus needed to follow and make them, I can see that not only is the man’s focus necessary but he loses a sense of time in doing it. As we painted the lines outside, everyone was worried about making the circles round and perfect not worried about the ticking round clock inside. The significance of this “loss of time” highlights how the meditative process can be found in even the worst of situations as long as your mind is focused.

The labyrinth project also revealed the limitless number of resources we could use to build our project, which showed me that one can try to find inner peace anywhere and with anything. Even in the desolate, barren landscape The Road portrays, the man can become hyper focused on looking back at the swirls of the blowing ash.

Walking the labyrinth and the man returning home provide parallels to each other. Once someone enters the labyrinth, they enter the journey. After they reach the middle and, ultimately, exit, they return back to the beginning. However, they are changed. The journey of walking has changed them, even if it’s only a little, and they are back where they began, as a different person. The man returns back to see his broken home. His goal was not to ultimately return to settle in his home, rather, his journey walking on the road so far has changed him through different trials and dangers, and because of this, he must continue onward using his newfound knowledge. The labyrinth revealed to me the cycle of continual growth with really no such thing as a goal. The only goal is to continue to grow and use what previous experiences have taught us in hopes of living the best life we can.

Labyrinth Reflection 2

“The first commandment for every good explorer is that an expedition has two points: the point of departure and the point of arrival. If your intention is to make the second theoretical point coincide with the actual point of arrival, don't think about the means -- because the journey is a virtual space that finishes when it finishes, and there are as many means as there are different ways of 'finishing.' That is to say, the means are endless.” ( The Motorcycle Diaries, Guevara 37)

When we were planning out and creating our labyrinth, my mind went back to Che’s journey. He went with his friend Alberto and only their old motorcycle “the mighty one” and a few dollars. They lacked really any kind of structured plan other than to travel around South America. I felt like the same journey they underwent is similar to our class’s. We really didn’t have a set plan for a pretty long time, but we kept pushing forward. Unlike Che’s journey, ours is not complete and is only beginning.

The quote highlights the unlimited means and resources that can be used to achieve a destination or goal. The labyrinth project has opened my eyes to two different journeys that run parallel to each other. The virtual journey that takes place in the mind and in your thoughts and the physical journey that happens in the real world and is what you do are both pivotal pieces in developing who you become during your journey. Our class had to take our imaginative labyrinth and bring it into the real world. Bouncing different ideas back in forth like sticks or rocks or spray paint or string revealed to me the truly limitless number of means or ways we could build this. The ideas we didn’t go with weren’t even discredited only, not applicable at the time. The idea of the journey “finishing when it finishes” is a deep one because even if we don’t get to finish our labyrinth due to the rain, maybe we’re not supposed to finish it. Instead, maybe walking the labyrinth at the Peace Awareness Labyrinth and Gardens may actually be our “finish” because of the unlimited differing ways of finishing. However, I think that us “finishing” the labyrinth either way is only the beginning. When Che went out travelling, he never expected it would lead him down the path towards being a revolutionary figure. I’m not sure where my journey will take me, but I’m excited to start it once we finish the labyrinth.

Labyrinth Reflection 3

My pilgrimage project is about not fearing rejection, putting myself out there, and learning how to talk to girls. Walking the labyrinth in the rain reminded me of this one girl I met at the Rosebowl. I was driving home and saw her running in the rain around the loop. Seeing this as a great opportunity, I parked my car. Then I ran to stop her and introduce myself. While others might see the rain as an excuse to keep driving home, I saw it as just another challenge to overcome. Because of the rain, today, I had to be more focused in following the path of the labyrinth. Whether it’s because of the bottom of my shoes forming a good grip with the water or what, I felt very grounded and stable when walking the labyrinth. Just as I had to dodge tree branches and worms walking today, I have to move through the challenges of fear of rejection when trying to talk to a stranger.

Some of the ideas that were most poignant to me were the idea of a group not normally listening to a woman when she poses an idea compared to a man and the idea of the journey never really ending. When I first met with Ms. Winslow about my pilgrimage project, I discredited some of the advice she gave me about talking to girls because of something I had read on an article (written by a man) saying how women aren’t always completely candid on how they want to be approached. However, after meeting a bunch of girls and actually listening to what they had to say, I found that all of Ms. Winslow’s advice had been true. I’m glad my pilgrimage doesn’t have a due date. As I go off to college, I’m hopeful to see the new friends and relationships I will make.

To highlight my greatest insights, I would use the following quote about wisdom, quote about rejection, and dragonfly in the rain.

Being skeptical at first led me to doubt the power that a labyrinth could hold. I was wrong, and if I try to tell people about my great experience, I might come off just a little crazy.

“Look, my dear Govinda, this is one of my thoughts, which I have found: wisdom cannot be passed on. Wisdom which a wise man tries to pass on to someone always sounds like foolishness.”

Excerpt From: Hermann Hesse. “Siddhartha.” iBooks.

The quote that follows nicely summarizes the whole book’s purpose. I’m now trying to embody this quote into my everyday actions in order to try to force myself to take action.

“When you are not afraid of rejection and it feels like you have nothing to lose, amazing things can happen.”

Jiang, Jia (2015-04-14). Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection (p. 79). Kindle Edition.

My picture helps illustrate one of the main things I have learned. Even if it is crazy all around me with obstacles seemingly everywhere, I have to keep holding on and fighting because eventually the rain will stop, and I can fly.

Pilgrimage Project Reflections

First Reflection:

Originally, I wanted to spend my pilgrimage becoming a better boyfriend. Then there was a minor problem when my girlfriend and I broke up. Our 6 month relationship ended not because we didn’t like each other anymore or because we weren’t working, but it was because she’s in her Junior year and I’m a first semester senior applying to colleges. We didn’t have time to schedule dates between us and we were practically in a long distance relationship even though we lived 15 minutes away. I want to look at this as a blessing in disguise and an opportunity instead of a tragedy by continuing my pilgrimage by learning how to talk to girls.

The Start of The Journey:

I have started my journey Ms. Hume, and I can see it is not going to be an easy one. My stomach was clenching itself into a ball and my hands were sweating. I spent 10 minutes trying to convince myself I should go talk to her. I had seen her get out of her car and walk inside of Chipotle. I tried to distract myself by studying physics, hiding away from my fears. Through the glass, I could see her sitting alone with her back towards me. After she had almost finished eating her burrito and I could feel my opportunity slipping away, I stood up. Walking back from the soda fountain, soda water shaking in my hand, I stopped at her table and asked if this seat was taken. Then, I looked at her apathetic face and said, “ I thought you were adorable, and..” fumbling around for the right words, I asked, “ How old are you?” She then replied, “I have a boyfriend, and I’m twenty two.” Shocked, I said, “ Well this isn’t going to work because I’m only 12, so I hope you enjoy the rest of your meal.” I then went back outside to study physics.

It’s crazy to look at the story on my computer and realize it doesn’t sound that scary.  But in the moments leading up to actually talking to her, my heart felt like it was Usain Bolt running the 100-meter dash.

Research:

I watched the movie Hitch with Will Smith who plays Hitch, a renowned dating coach trying to teach Albert how to get the “way out of his league” celebrity, Allegra Cole. One of the key takeaways I got from the film is really to just be candid and yourself when talking to girls. In the end of the movie, it’s revealed Allegra really just liked Albert because of who he is, even if he’s dorky and socially awkward. At the end of the movie, Hitch also comes to the realization that his dating service actually did nothing besides helping get people to meet, and that’s it.

I also watched the movie Her. The premise of a man falling in love with an operating system in a utopian future seemed like a stretch for me in the beginning. But as the film drew on, my eyes were definitely opened up to that possibility and made me reevaluate what I think love is. Right now in my teenage years, I seem so fixated with the physical aspects of women that I seem to blend them with my perception of their personality as if they’re directly intertwined. I hope one day I can reach a level of maturity to be able to love someone solely off listening to their voice and having conversations with them like Theodore and Samantha, the operating system.

            I read “Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection Kindle Edition” by Jia Jiang. After quitting his fortune 500 job and ultimately failing in his entrepreneurship journey, Jia then embarks on a 100 day journey where he challenges himself to try to get rejected in order to overcome his petrifying fear of rejection.

A poignant quote I found in the book about the typical response of a terminally ill patient is, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me” (Rejection Proof, Jiang 55). The idea that our capabilities would be endless without the fear of rejection is a big one.

I found in the novel that the fear of rejection is actually hardwired in our DNA. Back during caveman times, rejection meant you were an outcast, and if you were an outcast, then, you’d have the face all the lions and animals alone.

The biggest take away I got from reading this book is illustrated in the following quote after Jia looked back at why one manager chose to hire him while the others didn’t. “Rejection seemed less like “the truth” and more like an opinion. Other people were simply processing my requests, then giving me their opinions” (Rejection Proof, Jiang 83).

Reading this book sparked an idea about learning to be okay with rejection, so on Black Friday I went to the mall with my friend in the hopes of trying to talk to people and maybe get rejected.

Mandala Reflection

I didn’t realize how little it seems I had done on my mandala until five minutes to the end of class. I had been so engrossed with the design and trying to make everything perfectly symmetric that I lost track of time. While working I even blocked out the music that was playing because I was so focused on drawing and coloring. Even without the full design complete, my mandala still has the meditative qualities that I was trying to achieve. Looking at it now, I see kind of the sun or an underwater mine like in Finding Nemo. Believe it or not, that was what I was trying to achieve to draw it back to my pilgrimage project.

I imagined the black hexagon in the middle to be me, the focal point of the image and my pilgrimage. There are four different paths that each represents a course of action. The paths look the same so it is difficult to know which to choose, which is like when trying to meet a new person with an infinite number of possibilities of how you should introduce yourself, how you should position yourself, how should you talk to the person, how should you convey yourself.

After going through the initial road block of introduction (the orange dot),  There is an arrow that looks to point to the promised land, freedom from this confining circle of the fear of rejection. I purposefully left the arrows unfilled in, as if cut off by some invisible force barring me from escaping this fear. The line extends to the trapezoids and triangles that represent more dangers and pitfalls and the conversation. Everything seems almost hopeless with a fence or danger at every turn; however, there’s a slight break between the base of the triangle and the end of the trapezoids, which means there is a possibility of escape.

I feel this possibility helps capture what I’m trying to do with my pilgrimage project, maybe saying it’s okay to have fear of the unknown, but there is always a way. When I finish my mandala, I plan to highlight the beauty and greatness that lies on the outside of the mine to reveal to the onlooker that any fear of rejection will be well worth it in the end.

What did I ultimately learn?

It’s very hard for me to summarize what every experience has meant to me because they’ve all been so pivotal in my personal development. I think something I haven’t addressed yet that has been enlightening is regret. I look back at all my conversations that I’ve had and think about all the ones I didn’t have. Like a girl that I was too shy to talk to or even looking back in the Poly community, maybe the shy kid in my class that I don’t know really well even though we’ve been in the same grade since Pre- K. After starting my journey, I see the trite advice I hear from my peers and parents in a new light. To “just be yourself” doesn’t mean go and do whatever you want, but it means try to be the best version of yourself. To reach that best version, it’s going to take courage and discipline and a little bit of faith. I look forward to continuing this everlasting journey of my personal improvement.